eco.logic.soul

Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

In the moment of our gaze
I drop mine to the floor
You walk away –
Not knowing I want more.

There is no way
To speak unspoken words
A lifetime passed and still -
You wouldn’t know completely how I feel.

What is work
But what we’re forced to do
In order to live
A life of convenience –
Comfort , security.
We work to pay for all this stuff –
This material junk
We’re told will make us happy, yet
We never have time to enjoy
Forgetting the simple pleasures –
The joys of a life in a world
Without all this stuff.

We spend our lives working
For power-hungry thieves
Of freedom, of life, of spirit
Oppressed and pressed to conform
Trained to believe, for example,
That happiness is buying
A new car that we’ll be bored of
Before we pay it off
And so the cycle continues
Weighed down – helpless, trapped.
Lugging around this ball and chain –
The debt and all this stuff.

Will we every break free?
Can we reprogram ourselves
To believe that our work
Can be more than being enslaved
Fulfilling the master’s
Self-serving ambitions
While our own dreams are confined
In our minds, safe and secure?
I hope to God I’m not the only
One here who wants to be free.
Our futures depend on this hope.
We can’t let it happen to us.

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling that everything
That mattered to me before, was no longer a concern.

It wasn’t anything like a dream yet as the waking hours waned
The realization that what mattered to me before really did matter

Slowly crept its way into my thoughts and all lightheartedness
About the world drifted away like a balloon let loose

After a birthday party in the summertime.
And as the balloon eventually disappeared into the great blue sky,

So did all hope that one day what mattered to me
Will matter to them – the ones who always told me

Families can be together forever – and yet I now know
This applies only to those they consider to be worthy

Of the type of love they define as something separate
Than what I have found to be true.

There is no room for the love I know in their home
For theirs is a home wholly founded on a dogma that cannot be shattered

By any love that contradicts their beliefs – no matter how great
No matter how beautiful or humble or pure.

And as the hours of the day drift on into the night there is no sight
Of the balloon – for there is no summer here -

No parties to attend in happy celebration of our ties.
For the blood that bonds us is not nearly enough to inhibit

The love that would be forgotten were it not for my constant reminder
To you that I am no longer there.

The intolerance resounds
Through the center of her being
Like the crushing of a body
Pounded in to a brick wall
Swallowed in the crudeness
Of unrequited absolution
Cold and heartless favor
The wall stands tall

No sign of remorse
From tormenting invocations
Forbidding force of nature
No mercy for the soul
There is no resolution
To the absentness of virtue
Contemptuously looming
There’s nowhere left to go.

Your love is like rain
Pouring down upon me
And then evaporating
Once the sun comes out
Soaked and seemingly everlasting
It vanishes once what lights up my life
Shines brighter than the clouds above
That bring the rain

The warmth I receive
From the suns rays are enough
To make me feel whole enough
To make me forget about
What the rain feels like upon my skin
And the rain only comes sometimes
And these days not as often as before

So I go on soaking up the sun
Instead of feeling cold and damp
I can’t imagine you would blame me
Even though I know you think the sun
That gives me warmth is artificial
And eventually the light will go out
And I’ll be all alone in the dark

My life is like my painting
Each stroke a declaration
That what came before it
Is not enough
Searching for perfection in the imperfectable
On a quest that has no end
I see the potential – I grasp it
Too tightly it seems, the perfect image
Slips away from me
It disappears, morphs, merges
Into the murkiness of what’s left behind
I start again building
Upon the residue of the past
Nothing can completely erase it
Not the past
Or the feeling of what was lost
In search of the perfect beauty
Not seeing what’s in front of me
Forgetting that all that exists is this moment
This perfect moment
Each stroke a reflection
Of the fullness of what is

What is it about this thing called life
That somehow keeps us all going along
Moving along this trajectory we call time
Propelling us into the future
Building upon the deeds of the past?
Most don’t question at all
What this thing called life is about
Or so it seems.
 
People appear to be moving along an unseen path
Propelled by an unseen force
Without any thought to why or how or what
It appears as much anyway.
Or maybe not.
 
Maybe what appears to me
To be automaton-like sheeple
Is really all part of Gods plan
People are funny, you see
God must have a great sense of humor
And a lot of gall
For trapping us in this video game called life
Desperately, we try to win
To escape the fires of hell
To finally relax at the end of the tunnel
 
I wonder myself in all my knowing
Or what I think I know about life
What is the purpose of this thing called life?
In my rejection of religion
I find the answers in a different form
Yet somehow, it all seems to lead back to the same place
A place that fervently reminds me
We are all mysteriously and timelessly connected
Our experiences a reflection
Of everything and everyone
And each path taken whether blind or aware
Rocky or paved, short or long
Ultimately connects us together as one
And brings us home.

Today I met Timmy
Or Tim
The Gay New Age Jewish Scientologist
A free spirit
Lost in his head
A sea of words
Swimming in every direction
Fragments of precious thoughts
Overflowing

His eyes dart
From here to there
As he speaks
His quiet moment
Disturbed
Another man
His straight roommate
Controlling
He won’t take it!
Not anymore
No -
He must leave
But not now
The details of his story
Another time
His food
His falafel waiting

Strange
I feel peaceful
In his presence
Calm and serene
His words are soothing
And bothered –
Elated – Irrational
Something about him
I relate to
I connect to
He is Gay
On the spiritual path
No, something else.

I think -
He makes me feel sane.

I find my self lost in a world unknown to me –
Here I am
There you are
Still, nothing feels familiar.
I want to feel something
I want to do something
Something great, something more.

I run around in circles it seems
Not knowing the next step to take
I know I am something more
More than this life can reveal.
Maybe so,
Yet still a feeling of disconnection lingers.

I am full of passion,
full of love, full of hope.
Full of fear.
Take the fear away.
Peace comes from within -
This I know all too well.
Knowing is one thing;
Being is another.

Where can I find a sense of direction?
A sense of peace?
I know the answers to these questions.
Knowing is one thing;
Being is another.

Am I afraid to look closer?
To just be?
Maybe so.
Until then I am lost –
Lost in this place of infinite confusion
Or is it all just an illusion…

The brutality of the man
Filled with darkness he cannot contain
Disguised in uniform
Meant to evoke respect and fear
Power abused
And us – we are powerless

Naïve, concerned
A question asked
His response was in violence
Swallowed into the grips of the monster
She is pleading –
He does not hear her
He does not care

Defenseless
She is lifted off the ground
and flung upon the pavement
Her elbow breaks her fall
But it does not matter
Her head smashed
against the unforgiving asphalt
Her hands wrenched behind her
Cuffed to secure her capture
She is taken
Treated like a criminal
Yet there was no crime

We watched
Full of anger rage disbelief
Helpless in the moment
There was nothing we could do
We did not know why it happened
But we knew it was not fair
The night had been full of laughter
Now full of rage
Helplessness confusion rage

To them she is not human but a criminal
Bleeding and crying and full of fear
Chained to the bed
She does not feel safe here
She sits and glares at the monster
Not once does he look
He must know what he’s done
It was so wrong

The white of her bone can be seen
The numbness is gone
She feels every stitch sewn
Through her bruised and mangled skin
Undeserving and innocent
She endures the wrath of the monster
Trauma to her body, mind, soul

He tried to make her feel
Weak powerless insignificant
Still hurting from within and out
It is hard for her
To turn the anger inside out
But she must…she must….
Muster up the courage and the strength
To be whole
She cannot let this tragedy destroy her soul

As helpless and hopeless as she feels
There is still hope
There is still love
There is still justice
There is still goodness in the world
This is her hope
This is what will make her whole again

The darkness of the man
Will not take her soul away
He will only make her stronger
than she ever was before
He will give her the courage
she never knew she had
She will fight the fear
She will defeat
The shadow monster.